Jack Barton: The Coach That Changed My Life
Tennis is my whole life. My entire family is tied to tennis in one way or another and I guess I never really appreciated it until recently. In fact, for some time, I kind of hated that. My grandparents played professionally, my mom and uncle both played D1 in college, my parents met at the tennis club playing tennis, the list goes on and on. Unfortunately the skill level got diluted with each generation and I was never as good as the others in my family but it’s really nice to share a love for the sport together.
My mom and uncle actually were lucky enough to attend a tennis academy when they were a new idea. They both lived and trained at John Newcombe’s Tennis Ranch, which is owned by John Newcombe (obv), a good friend of my grandparents. They trained there and went to school at the local high school in New Braunfles, Tx. Mom went on to play at Texas Christian University (TCU) and my uncle played #1 at North Carolina State University (NC State). They truly ate, slept and breathed tennis.
For me it was a bit different. My parents divorced when I was really young and when I was 7, my mom and I moved to the States for a great job opportunity that she was presented with. I never had the perfect cookie cutter family and honestly, I kind of liked that. We moved to Louisville, Kentucky of all places and that’s where I met Jack Barton.
You don’t really know how significant someone is going to be to you when you first meet them but I always knew with Jack. My mom’s job was very demanding and stressful. I remember not being able to get through meals without her phone ringing or her Nextel making that walky-talky sound. Despite her crazy work schedule, she did everything she could to make sure I always had whatever I wanted. That’s probably why I’m so spoiled, ha! Tennis lessons in the States were significantly more expensive than they were in Mexico. At the time, I remember taking private lessons 1x per week for 60$ an hour. Nowadays, you probably can’t get a lesson for under 100 bucks at least. I knew that it was a big sacrifice for my mom to pay for my tennis and also for her tennis and all of the other finer things in life that we liked to have. This is why meeting Jack was so important. He had this program called Rising Stars and it was designed to provide tennis lessons for low income households. We weren’t necessarily low income but we were definitely not rich. While the primary focus was low income households, Jack knew that there was real value in bringing all youth players together.
“Your mom came to me after we played her and Brian Martin at a mixed doubles tournament and asked if you could come to Rising Stars because she heard great things about the program. I thought to myself “what nerve that she just kicked my ass and then asked me a question like that. She’s so rude!!!” LOL I told her yes I’d love to have her come.
My vision for Rising Stars evolved from the original concept of helping at risk youth in low income communities. Although we never lost that as the primary focus, I wanted to include all youth in the Louisville area. By having a larger base of youth coming from all different background I thought it would help build relationships with not only youth but parents that come from different backgrounds, religions, and economic status. I wanted to be as inclusive as possible and it worked. It meant the world to me and knowing the number of lives we touched was very gratifying to me. I could sleep well at night knowing that we helped a young person, a family, a coach, a volunteer and who ever came in contact with the program and help them become better and left a positive influence.”
I think it’s really hard to bring an idea to life because an idea in your mind is so grand and perfect. Very rarely are you able to make that dream idea come to life, but that’s exactly what Jack did. I remember showing up each time to find the courts packed with kids of all races. These practices were held on Fridays and I’m sure everyone had other things they could be doing on a Friday night but all of us really wanted to be there and looked forward to being there.
At first, Jack, or Coach Jack, was just that — a coach. I’m not clear on when we became so close especially because I’m so weird and always have been so weird when it comes to letting people in.
“If I remember correctly it was when you invited me to a tournament. I can’t remember if it was the Joe Creason or the LTC holiday tournament. When I saw your desire to want to be the best I think that pulled me to you to want to help you get there. But then we built that father/daughter relationship and that’s when it took off.”
I’ve always been such a competitive little shit. Like literally in everything. I’m obsessed with not necessarily wanting to be the best out of everyone but the best that I can be. I love learning and challenging myself to push for more and Jack is the same way. It’s like we were on the same wavelength or something. I can’t even explain it.
I continued to attend the sessions with Rising Stars and met so many great people — coaches and players. At one point we were playing at the Bass Rudd Tennis Center, which is where the University of Louisville tennis teams play their matches and practices at. At the time, it was brand new and newly resurfaced. They had these lounge-type viewing areas where the parents/guardians could sit and watch and catch up with each other. I remember one day they gathered us up there after practice and Coach was in the middle of the room just looking down. He always had a lot of energy because Rising Stars truly was his passion project. I remember thinking something was wrong, something felt off. That’s when he told us that he was going to be moving back home to Chicago to coach the men’s and women’s tennis teams at Chicago State University.
“I do remember. It was very hard for me because I had to say goodbye to hundreds of people I built relationships with. It wasn’t until I saw all the faces in the room that I realized how many kids Rising Starts touched in the 5 years I was a part of the program. Even during that goodbye, I wondered if me leaving was the right thing to do. I knew it was for me but I didn’t want to let down the faces in the room. The students, parents, and coaches were so supportive of my decision that it made me feel better about the decision to move back home and take the job at Chicago State”
I’m literally in tears as I’m trying to type this part of the story. I remember this day so vividly. All of us packed in that lounge area and just not believing what we were hearing. I thought maybe it was some sort of bad joke lol. Coach loves jokes, but it wasn’t. I really didn’t know what that meant for me and my tennis but when I went to hug him and say bye we chatted a little and he told me to keep working hard and to never give up and that if I was up for it, I would have a spot waiting for me when it was time for me to go to school.
I ended up accepting a full scholarship to play division 1 tennis at Chicago State University starting in August 2012. It was the best decision I have ever made.
No, Chicago State as a whole probably did not play at the D1 level when I first arrived in any of the sports. I joined this university not really knowing what to expect. It was located in the southernmost part of Chicago. No, like really. When people say they went to U Chicago and claim that they are in the south, we were like 50 blocks more south of that! It was clearly not the best part of town, and sometimes I was scared. I didn’t know a single person in Chicago except for Coach and these three people that I met on my recruiting trip.
“I actually don’t remember much about your recruiting trip. All I remember is that at a point in your trip you were more concerned about going downtown and eating than taking a visit to the professors in your intended major that would help shape you life. LOL”
CSU has a tiny campus and only one co-ed dorm building. After touring the grounds and grabbing some lunch, Coach asked Karyn Emeralda and Rūta Grinvalde to meet up with us and chat. They were very shy but really sweet. Karyn is like 5 feet tall (actually) and she is from Indonesia. Rūta is from Latvia and to be honest, I had never even heard of Latvia until I met her. Coach had the brilliant idea to show us the dorms and asked them to show us their room. Their eyes got sooo big and they rushed back to the room to tidy up. The third person was Julian Chavez and he was from Columbia. We showed up to his room without warning and I remember it being really dark in there, like as if someone was sleeping in the middle of the day. Little did I know this would become my favorite hobby in life — napping at all hours of the day. He opened the door shirtless and he was shocked to see Coach and three random strangers. He quickly put on a shirt and shyly answered some questions. Now I don’t know what you know about Colombian people, Colombian men in particular, but they are smoking hot. And Julian was no exception. Coach should thank Julian that I accepted the offer for CSU hahaha. I remember telling my mom that I was in love with him after just seeing him LOLLLLL. It’s crazy that the first 3 people I met on campus turned out to be 3 of the best friends I could ever dream of having.
I have amazing stories and adventures with all of them but I was attached at the hip with Karyn. We played doubles together and she came to Kentucky when I had shoulder surgery. During the time that I was in school, we became obsessed with the minions from the Despicable Me movies. Coach was honestly fascinated with our obsession and when we traveled anywhere, he would always try to win us minions from the different games.
“It was like the obsession that most young people would have with boy bands and movie stars. It was ridiculous but if it made you all happy I was ok with it. That’s why our spring break trips to Florida would have to involve going to Universal Studios. When you all would pay for me to try to win you minions on the arcade games, it was a lot of pressure. When I lost, to look back at the disappointment on your faces it was unbearable. I knew on my next try I had to put my game face on or else the flight home would be miserable.”
Frankly, we were more concerned with winning minions than winning matches. Sorry, Coach. If it helps, I still have all of my minions in my closet at my mom’s house in Kentucky.
It is tradition that on the last home match of the season, the seniors are honored with some sort of celebration to commemorate their time on the team. Coach loved making seniors feel special on their day and it was no different when it was my turn. I honestly haven’t seen anyone else’s senior day top mine but maybe that’s because I’m a little biased…
“I always try to make senior days personable to the character of the student we are honoring. So I try to do something that has meaning rather than just have a ceremony. I have a friend who does cakes and when I saw here creations of superheroes, gym shoes, sport teams I knew that nothing would be better that getting you a minion cake. You are lucky I didn’t know she did them the year before or else I would have done it for Karyn and got you a regular sheet cake with grumpy emoji faces. LOL”
My minion cake was so cute and perfect and she was dressed up in a CSU uniform and I’m sobbing just thinking about it again. I didn’t even let people eat it really. I was (and still am) obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy so we performed a “craniotomy” and only ate from the back of the cake and then kept the rest of the cake in my fridge.
So many great memories. I remember when I was in college, I couldn’t wait to be a “grown up” and have a real job. What a dumb idea! But I really do have very special memories from school.
“There was the time when you were playing doubles against the University of Michigan and the Coach from Michigan caught one of your balls on the fly that was going clearly out. You looked at her and said “That’s our point.” She looked back at you and said ,“I caught the ball so it wouldn’t go to the other court.” You said “Look!! I don’t care if you won 1000 big 10 titles, you can’t just break the rules. That’s our point!!!” I told you, “Let it go because we were down Love-40 and I don’t want you to lose focus. We are winning!!! We are up a break and we can pull off this upset!!!” You looked at me and said, “That’s such Bullshit!!!””
I know I probably don’t come across as a straight edge rule follower but rules are in place so that things run smoothly. Listen, I don’t make the rules and you can’t just change them. If I hit a ball out of the air that is clearly going way out, the ball stays in play. That’s one of the basic rules. Like if you get hit with a serve before it bounces, it’s still the server’s point regardless of where you are standing on the court! I remember playing at Michigan because their facilities were so beautiful and it was one of the best teams we would ever get the chance to play. I was so high off of the adrenaline and the fact that we were about to pull off an upset. TBH I think we lost that match, but we gave them a huge scare and sent the message that little old Chicago State can play with them regardless of how big they are and how small we were. It was bullshit that the coach caught the ball and I had to let her know. Hahahah. Coach loves this story.
“There was also the time when we played Florida A&M and we were down 3-2. You were playing loose and with no pressure at the number 1 position. When you found out that Mia had won her match to tie the team score you looked like you had seen a ghost. So by then, the two things I learned about coaching you is that I can’t give you too much information and make sure you keep a straight face when she makes a mistake, that actually helped me become a better coach. Every change over in the 3rd set I didn’t say one word. You sat down, we looked out in to distance, you drank water, toweled off, and I said two things “First serve and start the point”, we fist bumped and you went on the court. I clapped on the points you won and I smiled with reassurance on the points you lost. You ended up winning the match and I told you I was the coach of the year. We hugged and started cracking up.”
How wild is it that memories remain so vividly in your mind even after so much time has passed? I remember this match perfectly. Karyn had hurt her knee and she was our real #1 player. For whatever reason coach decided to flip me and my roommate Carynne Lloyd, who had been stepping into the #1 slot since Karyn’s injury. We had 2 walk on players that were volleyball athletes at school playing in our 5 and 6 positions and 3rd doubles. The odds were 100% against us and I was not a #1 player. I think we lost our doubles because I’m pretty sure I broke my racquet — sorry mom. I remember being on the court and just literally winging it. I won a few points here and there and then all of a sudden I was in a third set playing for the entire match. Both my entire team and our opponent’s team were sitting on the bleachers right next to my court. I could literally hear everything and nothing at the same time. It was humid as shit and it was starting to get dark. I remember those changeovers because I used to give coach a lot of grief for being so expressive when we lost points. Nothing worse than looking over or hearing him sigh after we just lost a point. It must have been harder for him to sit there quietly and watch than for me to play but I remember my hand shaking every time before I was about to serve. By some miracle of God I won the match and that won us the over all match 4-3 after Mia won her singles too! It was an amazing experience.
If you know me well, you can only imagine how hard it must have been for Coach to deal with me. God bless his hear.
“I would have to say that coaching you was like riding a roller coaster. Some days it was enjoyable and fun and somedays I just wanted to find all the infinity stones, snap my finger like Thanos, and make you disappear from existence. But the one thing I knew was that wherever we were at personally you would work hard in practice and even harder in matches. You never tanked a match or gave up and I absolutely could trust that if we were down in a match 6-0 that you would do everything you could to get us that point. You weren’t that different in the classroom if a professor gave you a bad grade you would be pissed at them like you would be if you lost to player that was not at your talent level……. And you would refer to them with a choice names that I wont list. LOL”
I’m super emotional and expressive. You will always know where you stand with me because I am very vocal about how I feel. But I’m even stricter with myself. I feel sadness and disappointment so greatly and I truly try to avoid it at all costs. I hate underperforming, more than losing, though I hate that too. There were so many times when I was so over tennis and could not care less anymore but I had a commitment to myself and my team and more importantly, my coach who put so much faith and trust in me to even give me this opportunity to play. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. I didn’t always like everyone on the team and even those I did like, I would argue and fight with. We spent so much time together that it was only normal. My depression began when I was in school and at one point I was on probation. Coach told me that if my attitude didn’t change that I would no longer have a spot or a scholarship on the team. I can’t say that I’m very positive now but things have gotten better and it’s something that I have struggled with for a very long time. There was a time when my team hated me and honestly I can’t blame them. To be fair sometimes I hated them too lol. I learned so much from every experience that I had in school and even more from being part of the team. Something I wouldn’t change for the world.
I have tremendous respect for my coach as a coach and friend. He’s not even really my friend at this point, he is family. Every year on Father’s Day, I send him a text just like I send my dad one. Coach Jack was always looking out for me and pushing me to be better. Were we always on the best terms? No. Was he/will he be there for me forever? Yes.
“The one thing I regret is that you have not met Gabi yet. She is a lot older now so once this pandemic is over I have to make it happen so she can meet her older sister from another mother”
Coach got married to the most wonderful woman, Gina. Sometimes he would stop by Gina’s house when we were in the car with him and we would snapchat the lovebirds chatting on the sidewalk. Gabi was born and made Coach the happiest person on the planet. No coincidence that my middle name is Gabriela and Gabi’s name is Gabriela…. I have not met her yet but I love her more than I could ever imagine and I am so thankful that my coach turned into my friend and then into my family.
Coach — thank you for everything that you did and continue to do for me. Thanks for taking a chance on me even though I probably didn’t deserve it. Thanks for sticking with me through (very) thick and thin. I owe my education to you, my career to you and so much more. Love you xx
Hangry Marn
