So, Now What?
Raise your hand if you thought that you had to have it all figured out by the time you graduated college.
* raises both hands *
I remember being in college and literally thinking I’m so screwed, I don’t have a job lined up after graduation. After speaking to a lot of people, I’ve realized that they also felt that way. I think we all thought we had to have a job lined up, a perfect apartment, be financially stable and in a long term relationship looking at getting married in the near future. I had literally zero out of four of those so as I was getting my degree, I was thinking I was already failing. It’s not a great feeling tbh, but if I could go back and talk to myself and give myself advice, I would say to freaking relax. I was doing the best that I could with the current situation and I’m proud of that and no, I didn’t have a great job lined up but now I have an amazing job that I love. Things will workout.
So my sweet cousin just graduated recently from Liberty University — Congrats PJ! I thought he would be a really good resource to lean on for this topic. His name is Alfonso Ochoa, but he shares that same name with his dad and our grandpa. They’re all Alfonso Ochoa! In Mexico, we have nicknames for literally everybody, so Alfonsos go by Poncho. So my cousin is Ponch Jr —> PJ. It’s a lot more common for sons to be named after their fathers but my parents named me after my mother. Which in retrospect caused a lot of problems since we look and sound exactly the same, but I digress. Back to my cousin.
I live in Lynchburg, VA, home of my Alma Mater, Liberty University (the one where you have probably heard many news articles on the president, and no the student body does not reflect his thinking). At Liberty I graduated with a bachelor’s in science for electrical engineering and a minor in mathematics. I also served for most of my time there as a Resident Shepherd, which is basically a hall pastor/hall counselor. Through this role on the hall, I loved working with college students, and I decided I wanted to do full-time college ministry with a Christian organization called Cru.
Honestly, when I was reading his answers I was really nervous because we have never really talked about Mr. Trump or politics and I was really nervous because of all that I have heard about Liberty + Trump. Whew! PJ is the sweetest person ever. He is really great at talking to people and making people feel comfortable talking about literally anything. We were never super close growing up but recently our families have gotten closer and I cannot tell you how much that has meant to all of us. We are all pretty separated by physical distance but it’s been nice connect virtually, particularly during quarantine.
I grew up always dreaming of going to NC State, where both of my parents went to college. As I started to look at colleges, NC State looked like the best option. My ideal factors for a college were pretty simple: inexpensive, good environment, engineering program, places I could plug into to play music, and no more than a few hours from home. NC State had all of these. I applied to NC State, UNC (just because), and Liberty University. As I started applying, I visited Liberty one day. I loved Liberty out of all the other universities I went to, but the price was way too high. I ended up getting rejected from NC State and UNC, but I got into Liberty. When I started to work through the financial process for Liberty, I realized that I had so many scholarships afforded to me, so Liberty ended up being the cheapest option and the best option!
PJ was based out of Raleigh, NC and he wanted to stay relatively close to home. There are so many things that should go into picking the right school for you and this all just goes back to prioritizing the things you value the most. For me, I didn’t really care where I went as long as I could play tennis. For PJ, he had a very clear criteria and he narrowed down his options to 3. Applying to schools can get pricey. Application fees range anywhere from $50-100 so if you apply to a 5 schools you’re looking at anything from $250-500 just to apply. So it’s really important to do your research on the schools you are looking at and really differentiate between the ones that you realistically see yourself going to vs the ones you just think to apply just for fun. Also, it’s super important to apply to more than one school because you never know if you are going to get in. In PJ’s case, he really wanted to go to NC State (going to UNC would have broken his parent’s heart so let’s just say it was a blessing for him that he didn’t get in) and then he ended up falling in love with Liberty.
I feel like we do this with everything - like we have this idea of how things are supposed to workout and we think we know what we want but at the end of the day things happen for a reason and when we let ourselves try something new, we discover things we never knew we would have liked or chosen for ourselves. During these college years, we change a lot. A lot of people have never even traveled before they go to college or lived on their own and this is truly a time to define who you are and make your own decisions. Choosing a school is super important because it impacts who we are a lot.
Ok, now you picked a school but how do you pick a major? For me, I googled the highest paying jobs at the time (lmao don’t do this pls). However, it is important to understand how much money you should expect to make in a specific field.
In my early childhood years, I grew up loving Legos. I wanted to do some kind of job with Legos, so I looked into architectural engineering. I had many older mentors who said that architectural engineering is too specific, so they recommended mechanical engineering, which is much more versatile at times. I started out at Liberty with mechanical engineering, but eventually I switched to electrical engineering my freshman year because I loved guitar and a lot of people who design guitar things are electrical engineers.
I liked engineering at times, but I am very social, and engineering is not a social major. There were many times that I wished I never chose engineering as a major; however, I know that I am very thankful for my parents helping me out through college, so I knew I wanted to pick something that would honor them as well and give me plenty of job options.
I’ve said this so many times on my posts but I’ll say it again — choose something that you love to do. It will make working so much better and enjoyable for you and you will just naturally be better at it because it’s something that you’re likely passionate about. With a few exceptions, most people work 8 hours a day 5 days a week, AT LEAST. There have been many times where I have worked more than that and that’s just part of the job. I would be miserable if I was doing something I didn’t like. PJ has always loved playing guitar and it’s really interesting to see the connection between the guitar and electrical engineering.
It’s also super important to pick something that isn’t too specific unless you are like a prodigy in that field. I went to school for computer science but I don’t necessarily use that every day now that I’m more into the visualization/presentation of data. You never know where your career is going to take you and it’s nice to have that flexibility. You may think you want to do one thing but after a couple of years you could change your mind and want to try a different variation of it and that’s okay!
Alright, so enough about the beginning of college. Now let’s talk about what it’s like to finish college. What comes next? It’s a really scary time. I mean you are so pumped to have made it through all of those classes but it’s also really sad because you have to say goodbye to a lot of your friends that live all across the country and some live halfway across the world. You don’t know if you’re going to see them again and you know it’s hard to keep in touch with distance and time zones. Also, it’s a time to like really be an adult and get a job and job interviews are scary, I don’t care how many years of experience you have or how qualified you are. It’s scary. So how do you navigate this time and feelings?
I would tell people that are about to graduate to take a breath (haha). I was so nervous about what I would do after college and I wanted to take a break from my major for a while. Take your time. Do not rush into college and do not rush straight into a job after college but do something if you choose to take a break in between seasons. There are plenty of great gap-year programs that I have heard of that help you strategize which route to take. There are also so many great post-college programs too. Try one of those! Do something!
I could not agree more. When I graduated college I was freaking out. I had a huge falling out with some of my best friends and felt really scared and alone. I applied to every possible job opening in Chicago but they weren’t paying enough to support my lifestyle there and I wasn’t qualified for the ones that did. I moved back home with my mom to Kentucky and really found a love for recreational tennis again. I realized that as much as I loved being with my mom, that I missed the “big city” type of life and so I started applying to any tech related job. Literally all over the world. I lucked out and met great people and got a job that really put my foot in the door and was able to grow pretty quickly from there. I think that I would have loved to stay in Chicago but I literally did not (and still don’t) understand the concept of saving money. So if I could do anything different, I would have tried to save money to give myself a cushion to stay in Chicago for a bit longer and try to make things work there. Also wish I would have applied to a part time job or something while I was in school, though it’s tough to manage with college sports but definitely doable.
What’s next for PJ?
To be honest, I do not know! I have loved working with Cru so I will definitely look into options on how I can continue with them, or maybe even going back to school to pursue an MBA. I’ll be planning what to do next this year.
Take a page out of PJ’s book and take a breath. Really be honest with yourself when you are trying to decide what to do next, but always do something. Don’t stay stagnant. You can always learn new skills and build up your resume. If you can afford it, take unpaid internships because experience is worth everything. Shadow someone you admire, set up a zoom call with them and ask them questions about their experience. Everyone’s experience is very different and unique and we can all learn from what we have been through.
My favorite part of the questions that I ask is always the last one where I give the person I’m interviewing to say anything else about the topic.
I would encourage everyone to surround themselves with a great group of friends, but also to not be afraid with being friends with people who are “different”. As a Mexican American, I was around two different cultures for most of my life, so assimilation between cultures came easy for me and I enjoyed getting to know different types of people. For many others, college was their first cross-cultural experience and befriending different people was hard for them. Whether it is hard for you to meet new people or it is easy, befriend new people. We are in an age that desperately needs empathy for one another, and the first step to doing that is choosing to listen and befriend someone who is different than you.
As mentioned before, PJ is such a people person and makes friends easily. I’m not really that friendly, if I’m being honest but in college I met so many different types of people from all over the world. Our tennis team had one American player my freshman year so it was so special to be exposed to different types of cultures. I learned so much about their countries and how they grew up and the languages that they spoke. I actually grew to hate the word weird. I always hated when people said that we were weird or that something different was weird. Like no, just because it’s foreign and new to you doesn’t mean it’s weird, it just means that it is different. Every person is so unique and it is a pleasure to hear their story and learn from them and what’s actually weird is that people still call different behavior weird.
Whether you are starting or finishing college, or you have a family or you’re single as a pringle, allow yourself to be open to different cultures and people. Embrace the “weirdness” and learn from others. Steer your career and your life in a direction that you are proud and passionate about and help others along the way.
Talk soon
xx Marn
Also - how perfect is my cousin?
