Your Story Needs to be Told
Like the rest of my colleagues that got promoted, I’ve been operating at the VP level at work for several months now, but the process to officially receive the title takes time. It is a rigorous process and it is an honor to even be considered for promotion — most people don’t get it the first time they are nominated so I was incredibly grateful to have made it through. A couple of weeks ago, we went back to the office and a lot of the managers came in for a series of meetings. I used to be all about working from home but I can’t tell you how incredible it is to be in the same room as some of these people just working together and putting our knowledge and experiences together to solve problems.
I posted a lot when my promotion happened but it wasn’t until now, several weeks later, that I realized the magnitude of what it meant. I looked on our corporate directory and saw my new title next to my name and instantly got butterflies in my stomach. I sat staring at it for a few minutes just thinking to myself wow, I made it. Being VP is something that I have been working towards for what feels like my entire professional career — which is what? 5 years? I know for some people that doesn’t seem like a long time and in the grand scheme of things, it’s not. The past 5 years I have become obsessed with getting promoted so it has honestly felt like longer that what it actually was. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs and to sit there and look at the screen and see the words “Vice President” next to my picture was an indescribable feeling. I wasn’t the only one that got promoted, though. Tons of people did, so why am I different? I guess in a way I am and in a way I’m not.
I’m not different because so many of us got promoted to VP across the firm, and we were rewarded for our hard work and dedication. Cool. I am different because I am a hispanic, 27 year old, female in fintech. It is rare to see women in “senior” positions and even more rare to see hispanic females. Even more rare than that, a 27 year old. A few weeks ago when I was in the office, a fellow VP came up to me and told me how proud he was of me and how much my promotion meant to him. I have worked with this individual on one project in the past, and that’s only because he inherited the output. I had never met him in person until that day, yet my promotion meant something to him. He has been a VP for much longer but he is also hispanic.
As I was staring at my new title on the corporate directory, I saw the org chart that showed my up-line. From me to James Gorman, it was mostly white males. Don’t get me wrong, the people in my up-line are incredible and strong and that has nothing to do with the color of their skin or their gender. They have truly taken me under their wing and each of them have helped shape me into the person I am today. However, looking at my upline made me realize what so many people say about our field. It is primarily dominated by white men. I was on Linkedin the other day and saw a cute post of a girl pointing at an animated film on her TV. The character she was pointing at was someone that looked just like her. She had darker skin, curly hair, and had a similar accent to hers. Why does that matter?
It matters because there is something so powerful in seeing people like you in positions you want to be in. I hope that as we bring more diverse candidates into my firm that they feel inspired when they see a young latina with my title. If she can do it, why can’t I? kind of thing. I was invited to that series of meetings because of my title and role and one of my coworkers who has known me and worked with me ever since I came in 5 years ago as a consultant, told me she was so proud of me. She walked past the glass doors of the conference and saw me, a latina, with a seat at the table. Literally. She is also a latina.
I work on a team that makes me feel incredibly heard and welcomed. They have never made me feel like I didn’t belong or like my ideas didn’t matter when I was anything less than a VP, but I know that not everyone has those experiences.
A while ago, I wrote a post about how someone came into my building at home and assumed I worked there. My four doormen are either hispanic or african americans and we do look alike but they could very easily be the superintendents or the owners of the building. They are nothing but incredible and professional, yet this person came in and assumed I worked there because a person like me could never afford to live in a doorman building? I don’t know. This has been one of the only instances where I have experienced such behavior and I know it doesn’t even come close to how other people are treated. I remember feeling upset, I can’t even imagine how people deal with this and much worse on a regular basis. Why was this person so quick to assume I worked there. Maybe because most of the time, both in real life and in movies, we see minorities as service workers?
When the pandemic started, which now seems eons ago, I bought Peloton bike and I loved it I was obsessed with it, even. But I would search and search for classes that had one or two latin songs or artists. Only certain instructors would have latin artists and only some of those would play songs in Spanish. Recently, Peloton hired an Argentinian instructor, Camila, and she now has rides that are entirely in Spanish. Not only are the songs in Spanish but also the instructions are in Spanish. These are some of my favorite classes because 1) that’s my favorite kind of music and 2) it makes me feel at home or reminds me of home? No, not home where I live, but home where I’m from. Just that sense of belonging and acceptance that makes me feel so at ease. It’s little things like that that make a difference.
My last example is one that doesn’t have anything to do with me. I am hyper aware of the things that impact me, so gender, race, age. One thing that was not even on my radar was the deaf and hard of hearing communities and you’ll never guess what raised my awareness of it: The bachelor.
On Matt’s season, Abigail was wearing a cochlear implant and I began to follow her on instagram. She kept saying she wanted to raise awareness about these communities but I just thought they would get hearing aids or implants or whatever they’re called and they’d be fine? Wrong. Some people still really struggle to hear and if they take their implants out, they can’t hear at all. On her instagram story, she mentions that one really easy way to be an ally in this community is to add captions our digital content. So if you go on your story and are speaking about something, you could use the auto-caption generator to transcribe what it is that you’re saying. I now see this a lot on TikTok and Instagram. I’m not even hard of hearing, at least not officially, but I love watching movies and tv with captions. When I speak to people, I look at their lips, particularly if they have an accent to make sure I’m understanding them correctly. People that are deaf or hard of hearing don’t usually announce that they struggle with hearing. I have two good friends that have different levels of this and we talk about it openly but if they never told me, I never would have known that they were hard of hearing.
I think that if we can become more aware of the different things that impact people, and become more receptive to what they’re saying we can help create a more welcoming environment for them. It takes minimal work to turn auto captions on Instagram and it takes even less work to be nice and respectful to people of all genders, races, and backgrounds. In the words of one of my favorite influencers, Briana Lapaglia (aka Brianna Chickenfry), be a decent human.
It’s impossible to tackle all forms of diversion and inclusion and be the perfect advocate and/or ally. So where do we go from here? You’ve read the post and you get it. So what? What can you do to help?
I genuinely do not have all the answers. I’m 27 years old for crying out loud! I can tell you what my friends and colleagues do to make things better (or things that they do that make things worse).
First, I would recommend that you check in with yourself. Look at your own behavior. Are you being inclusive? Are you being exclusive (intentionally or unintentionally)?
Next, can you spot some of that behavior in your close circle (at work or in your personal life)? One thing I like to do is observe. I like to find things that I really like and admire from people that I want to be more like and try to incorporate those things into that I do. On the flip side, if I see things I don’t like or agree with, I try to be super aware of what they’re doing or how their actions are being received and try to make sure I am not doing the same.
If you do spot behavior you don’t agree with or believe in, maybe you pull that person aside and bring their behavior to their attention. A lot of times, people aren’t aware of what they’re doing or saying or how it affects other people. I know that sounds like something people should be super aware of but it’s not always the case.
One simple thing that brings such a smile to my face is when my friends try to embrace things that are not part of their culture. No, not cultural appropriation but listening to some of my favorite latin artists singing in English or in Spanish. Like the Bad Bunny and J Balvins of the world. Bad Bunny has been the number 1 global artist many times on Spotify because people who don’t even speak Spanish love his music.
Now let’s talk about what you can do in the workplace. In my company we have employee networks that hit on a lot of different topics. Diversity and Inclusion is sooooooo broad. We have a group for hispanics, LGBTQ+, parents, etc. I am part of all of the groups and while I’m more active on the hispanic one, I am an ally for the others. This means that I can support their events and initiatives even if they don’t personally benefit or affect me. Do you have networks or groups like these at work? How can you get more involved?
A lot of times we tend to listen to react or respond. Sometimes we need to take a step back and listen to hear. When you are an ally of these groups, it’s really important to take yourself out of the equation because it’s not what you’re getting out of it. It’s about how you can help them.
If you are in a position to hire, consider diverse candidates. No, this does not mean hire a diverse candidate because they are diverse. Make sure that you’re interviewing men and women or whatever gender they identify as. Teams can benefit from more diverse team members because this will automatically result in more diverse thoughts and proposed solutions. It’s never a bad thing to consider different options.
One common misconception with diversity is that people are expected to choose diverse candidates because they are diverse. That’s not the goal. We want to have the opportunity to go for the same roles and opportunities and be considered equally. If I go up for a job and white, male counterpart is just a better fit, I want it to be because of his experience and what he brings to the table, not because he is a white male. Make sense? Vice versa, if I get the job over a white, male candidate, I want it to be because I deserve it, not because a company is trying to check the box on their diversity metrics.
The last thing I’ll mention is mentoring. When you think of mentoring, you may automatically think of a more senior person meeting and advising a more junior person or less senior person on their career. I want you to take that mentality and throw it out the window. Mentoring should be about teaching someone else about something they don’t know a ton about. Yes, this is often a more senior person advising a less senior person, but what if I told you that I mentor someone that is more senior than me? We call it reverse mentoring and my mentee is an Executive Director. She came to me and asked if we could meet so she could better understand how to target people like me to become more active in our diversity networks.
Everyone should have a mentor. Shit, everyone should have multiple mentors. Learn from other people’s mistakes and successes.
Don’t be afraid to admit that someone else, more senior or not, knows more than you on a specific topic
Don’t think about the mentor/mentee relationship as an superior-inferior relationship. You can learn both ways.
Understand your goals and identify the people that can help you and that you can learn from. Reach out and ask for help and advice. It doesn’t have to be a formal engagement, it can be one off conversations, but the more you have these, the more you learn.
I’ve been so hesitant to publish this post because I am scared. These are big topics to talk about and frankly, I don’t feel like we talk about them enough. That’s the first step in making changes to a culture that has been this way for so long. I think we have all done things we are proud of and on the flip side, we can look at some of our decisions and actions and acknowledge that maybe that wasn’t the right way to handle something. We’re only human and we aren’t expected to be perfect all the time. The sooner we accept that, the quicker we can get to a more inclusive environment for all.
You can achieve whatever you set your mind to if you work hard enough for it. I know Kim Kardashian’s comment is a joke now but, get up and work your ass off! Become obsessed with being successful, however success looks like to you.
xx marn
I don’t often ask for feedback on these, but I would love to hear how you or your company tackle diversity and inclusion. What’s working? What’s not working? Have you tried and failed? Have an experience that was not so great in the office? Have an experience that was not great, but handled very well? I would love to hear it in the comments or directly if you want to keep it private.
