I’m back

Hi everyone! I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted but I’ve been lazy like my mom and haven’t been on my blog game lately. No worries, here I am back again to update you on my very adventurous life as a stay at home cat in Queens.

Last time we talked I was complaining that my mom had forgotten to order my favorite wet cat food. It’s gourmet cat food of course because I am a queen and I deserve the best of the best. I gave her so much shit last time she forgot to order it so she set up a subscription on Amazon so now we have a plethora of wet cat food but she’s still being stingy by giving me just one pack a day. I mean would it kill her to just give me double or triple serving. Especially because lately I’ve been such a good girl and have been letting her work in peace for the most part. Well except for that one time that she used the glass table to take notes as a dry erase board and then I went and laid on it and erased it with my tail. She wasn’t very happy about that but in my defense, that’s not what the glass table is for.

If anything she should feel like she owes me some thing because she has been sick all week and she’s been home and hasn’t left the apartment since Thursday. Well she finally got better and left thank God but she was home for like five days straight and didn’t leave the apartment. And then when I get the Zumiez late at night she gets mad. Like I could do them when you leave but I can’t if you don’t leave you know? So not really my problem that she got sick. She’s the one that’s changed the routine and it’s not my fault that she can’t accommodate my rigid schedule.

Life’s been good lately, honestly. I have my robot litter box which is amazing but it kind of scares me sometimes. I know that it’s like going to clean itself after I step out of it but it always still gets me and scares me. I like that it’s clean every time I go, though I’m not really sure why my mom thought it was a good idea to spend $600 on something like this, but I’m thankful for that because I get to go in a clean box every single time. The litter box isn’t the only automatic thing around here, I mean like I said I am the queen and I deserve the best. I also have an automatic cat feeder for my dry food. I wish it was for my wet food because then I could get fed three times a day with the good food but I guess the dry food will suffice.

Mom finally decided to clean up the area around the couch and we can actually use it to sit and watch television. Before, she would pile her clothes on the couch and on this other chair. I think she was trying to break a record or something to see how many clothes she could have on there and not in her closet. I mean she has a whole room for the closet so I’m not really sure why she needs to put them on the couch and the chair. Anyway to my surprise she cleared it up and now we get to sit there. We have two small couches but they’re really big for me so I get to choose which one I get to sit on but you would think since there are two she would take the other couch. Nope! She likes to sit right next to me every single time and I’m like dang lady there’s a whole other couch right there. I don’t know why she’s so obsessed with me. Well actually yes I do…I’m so beautiful. I would be obsessed with me too if I was her. I try to make her stay away by hissing at her and telling her that I don’t like it when she tickles my toes but she doesn’t anyway so I don’t really think she understands what I’m trying to tell her. Or maybe she’s just ignoring me…

Anyway, lately we’ve been watching the vampire diaries which is a bit scary and then she wakes up complaining about nightmares. Who wouldn’t wake up with nightmares after watching all of that? But nevertheless every single day she puts it on again and again. It baffles me but that’s just humans in general. We were watching this other show called Quantico before and that one was good too but also scary sometimes. I think they stopped making episodes of that one or else would still be watching it. Before that one we were on a Shonda Rhimes kick obviously because we were watching Scandal as well. clearly mom is a big Shonda fan because that’s all we’ve been watching for the past few months along with Grey’s Anatomy. I mean I don’t really understand her she seen Grey’s Anatomy may be no less than 17 times but she continues to turn it on all the time. I’m convinced she can reenact every single episode I mean she’s quoting each of the characters every single time we watch it. Is that supposed to be fun for me? And don’t even get me started when Mike dream he picks Addison over Meredith. Mom gets so upset every single time - like you’ve seen this so many times I don’t understand why you’re expecting it to be different every time. He’s going to choose Addie every single time. but who am I to ruin her comfort show and ruin her happiness ignorance is bliss, they say - I guess they are not wrong.

Anyway I’m going to try to keep you guys more updated each week because I know you’re dying to hear from me. Obviously I have a very busy life so if I remember I’ll post again but if not then too bad get over it I’m just a cat not a blogger.

Toodaloo bitches.

xx hangry Lola