You can call me Queen Lola

It’s literally so hard to be me. I have to be photoshoot ready at all times, even when I’m sleeping. I literally woke up like this. Flawless. Who do you think Beyonce wrote that lyric about anyway?

Hello, Lola here. Quick question - can someone tell me when the fuck Marnie is gonna give me my apartment back? I mean seriously, the woman is home ALL day, EVERY day. Don’t get me wrong, I totally love her but I don’t like to show too much affection so she doesn’t think she’s in control. I like to remind her who owns who.

Most days go like this: I wake mom up each morning at 6:30ish and if I’m lucky, she will feed me right away. Usually, I have to keep waking her up because she always goes back to sleep. By 7am, I am hangry Lola and I have to wake her ass up because I haven’t quite figured out how to open those pesky little cans of cat food myself. I guess I could eat my dry food, but Ugh! I deserve the best.

I really am the cutest

I can see why everyone’s obsessed with me.

This week, however, was not like the rest. Mom had the nerve to forget to order my gourmet wet cat food. So I was sitting there waiting for her to get up and feed me and she did everything except feed me. She kept saying sorry and that she loves me, blah, blah, blah. THE LIES. What’s she doing on that damn computer all day anyway? Too busy to make sure I have enough gourmet food? The nerve. She better give me two cans when the food arrives and she better hope it arrives soon, or else…

Anyway, this is too much work. I’ve been awake for far too long so I’m gonna go back to being cute while I nap.

Let me know in the comments what you want to hear about next? The pigeons or the time my mom tried to give me a shower (!!!)
*eye roll*

Don’t forget. It’s my world & you’re just living in it.

See ya next week!

- Queen Lola