International Women’s Day: Genesis
Today’s post is a little different. In honor of international women’s day, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Genesis. Genesis is the bartender of our tennis club and she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 27. I felt like there was not a better day than today to share her journey with all of you.
February 1st. Double mastectomy, lymphs removed, reconstruction.Follows ups. Follow ups. And more follow ups. March. Radiation plus chemo. Mixed feelings.
It’s hard to put the words together but I don’t actually know quite what I feel. This is the last of my twenties and I didn’t expect 29 looking like this. Then again, we didn’t expect a whole pandemic either. Is this Genesis? Or a mixed revelation?
I find myself going back and forth in my head, constantly. Why is this all happening? Why is it that more of the “youth" is becoming quite ill much faster these days? Cancer is considered a norm nowadays, but it will never feel the same. It will never be the same. Cancer changes a person forever. I must have been 26, early March, when my arms started to give out. It would be my birthday in only 3 months and my life changed literally in the blink of an eye. The saving is true- your body is your temple. Always and forever.
Numbness throughout my left arm starting from under my armpits, down to the bend of my left arm. Fingers would go numb from time to time.
Some days it would be quite hard to even ift my arms period and did I mention I am a lefty? I notice the change instantly. Simultaneously, I can honestly say I felt and already knew it had to be cancer, coming from such a high risk family history.
CANCER.
I decided to go seek help from a doctor but she never really heard me out. I don’t blame her, she was much older in age and had just lived through one year into the pandemic. This was around march 2021. The doctor ignored me completely and instead labeled me as a ‘borderline personality patient' and this was caused due to the pandemic. She referred me to seek out some zoom meeting therapy. ZOOM! That’s the norm, can you believe that shit? The doc gave me a prescription which basically felt like a “here, take this and shut the fuck up you young, Whitney, twenty-something year old, freaking out about the global pandemic. Take these, get some sleep and see you in 4 months for a refill.”
Is this my new normal. Popping antidepressants and tranquilizers? No, this can’t be. Zoom therapy? I could never see myself turning to pills, period. Not even when I’m on my period. Get the fuck outta here.
An entire year went by.
It’s 2022, I’m 27 now. I notice a slight bump and of course, my mind runs right there. Relax Genesis, relax. Breathe. In 1, hold 2, out 3. I downloaded Zocdoc and found a new doctor. An OBGYN to be exact. I mentioned the bump and she feels it. She requested an MRI, mammogram, biopsy and insurance comes back hard with the “you’re too young to need this” bullshit. Fuck it! I’ll pay for it myself. The results came back and I was sent to a plastic surgeon, which was interesting and turned out to be a big mistake. But I was scared, I didn't want to tell anyone quite yet and I believe because of that, my cancer progressed. I didn’t speak up! My forever issue, I dont have a back bone and it fucking sucks because I am tough, I just needed a little extra push sometimes.
It's November 2022 now. Biopsy is in now. Cancer has progressed, and lymph nodes have been infected. It was bad news all the time, one after another and still no treatment being done. No mastectomy talk or even chemo. Just appointments and more appointments and just straight up stalling. Meanwhile, the cancer was still growing.
September 2022. I decided to leave and consult with Sloan Kettering. Even more bad news. What's ACT treatment? 12 weeks of chemo, seriously? Oh let's not forget the icing on the cake - yep, kiss having kids goodbye. No egg freezing either because it’s not worth it and it’s painful. Like damn bitch, I just wrapped my head around no breast feedings and now this? No kids at all? Fuck me. What the fuck am I working so hard for? Fucking sterilization if you ask me. Get the fuck out of here. I froze right there and then but in my mind I flew at that bitch and snapped her neck. That hit me harder than the cancer, honestly. I was depressed for some time and I’m pretty sure everyone noticed. I even lost a lot of weight. Somewhere around 10 pounds in a short time. I’m 136 currently but when this news hit me I was a solid 140 and I went down to 129. Not healthy, but I was determined to get on the mound one last time. I don’t believe in a strike out this early in the game. And yes, that was a baseball reference.
I decided to accept help from other's and this is when NYU pretty much fell into my lap. Literally by mid October I sent everything over and by November, the ball started rolling. To be honest, the ball hasn’t stopped rolling since.
The date was set: February 1, 2023. It was around New Years now and as January began, it started to get difficult to fall asleep. I’ve perfected my poker face, my laughs, my smile, my emotions... and SCENE! Wow, you really are a Gemini with multiple faces, emotions, multiple beings. Who are you Genesis? How are you really taking all of this?
First - I was too young.
Second - I was overreacting.
Third - I’m too much.
Fourth - I start to lose self love.
Fifth - I feel lost.
Finally, all these multiple beings can agree on one thing for once. I feel lost, tired and ignored.
Cancer has no age limit, nor did I choose this. It chose me. It’s even biblical in a way. In the book of Peter it says if we are humbled and acknowledge our dependece on God, God will help us through our trials. See, God knows we are not strong enough on our own. God wants for us to seek and lean onto God and simply have faith in the journey. That is the reason why I have mixed feelings about happening to me.
WOW! January was such a drag. Suddenly, it was February 1st, the big day. Three major surgeries happening at once. Inside NYU, I blink. Four different doctors coming in the room talking about and touching what’s the last of my boobs. It’s already been 2 hours of this. 3-4 hours in, the surgeons mark my chest with sharpies and it’s time. Tears start to flood in. Doctors, surgeons, nurses, technicians are all I see until I turn and I see her. I see Semina and butterflies fly in. Tears rush down my face faster and faster. My entire stomach turns, literally. My hands begin to shake uncontrollably. I hug Semina and I don’t want to let go. Semina freezes time! Just enough so i can hold her, tight, close. So pure. So much love. So much fear. Trust. What a bond. She holds me right back and whispers that it’s going to be alright. I believe her. I truly do. I let go and start the battle.
I now follow a full alkaline diet, meaning no meat, chicken, fish, rice or sugar. Dr. Sebi would be so proud. I managed to starve the cancer before my surgery and other treatments. My original diagnosis in August 2022 was stage II but as it became more aggressive, it spread to my lymph nodes and meant that it was stage III. The lymph nodes are the gateway to the rest of the body which caused us to be concerned about getting to stage IV, meaning that the cancer would be for life, and at such a young age, no less. Definitely not what I expected nor wish for anyone but that’s where Dr. Sebi comes in. He has helped me adopt this difficult diet to starve the cancer and it seems to be working since the cancer shrunk back into a stage II category. All of the doctors were surprised when they took the pre-surgery vitals and mentioned I was the healthiest cancer patient they had ever encountered.
Who knew a diet could do all of that? I don’t use plastic bottles, just glass. I focus on balancing my pH levels and mineralogy. I try to eat in-season fruits and high-iron veggies. My goal is to continue to starve the cancer. They had told me that chemotherapy would be 12 weeks but now they are estimating 5. My goal is to make it just 2 weeks, tops. Radiation and diet can do the rest.
Apart from the diet, my support system has been incredible. Semina has always been there, of course but I found support in Illya Becktold, a member of the tennis club who has now become my friend. They have been the best support that anyone could ask for.
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The first time I read Genesis’ story and answers to my questions, I felt the tears streaming down my face on my commute into work. I knew what was going on but hadn’t taken the time to really understand what she is feeling. I want to share a couple of things with you before I close this.
First, I didn’t like Genesis when I first met her. If you know me, you know I dislike most people right off the bat but I really didn’t have a reason to dislike Genesis. She didn’t care though and she was never bothered by it, she just kept doing her thing and I think that’s what made me like her so much. She was also always laughing and making people smile. She started growing on me over time and now the club just doesn’t feel the same. I can’t wait for her to come back.
One of the best things about my tennis club is that it’s like a family. When my mom was going through her cancer journey, the club supported me. I’ve seen the members come together to support others in such incredible ways. None of my family lives in New York with me and this place has become my second family. Not only are people caring about the members, but we spend so much time there that we naturally create great relationships with the staff. When Genesis was diagnosed, club members set up a go fund me account to help raise money to cover some of the costs of her surgeries and treatments. Here is the link if you would like to donate.
Lastly, I want to talk about a special individual who has helped me an infinite amount of times and is now helping Genesis. Her name is Illya and she was mentioned at the end of Genensis writing. Illya hasn’t had it easy, having gone through a similar situation not too long ago. Genesis doesn’t know this but I asked Illya to send a blurb this morning. So I’ll leave you with this:
I have been blessed to support Genesis on her journey. While this is not a topic that one wants to be an expert in, my own journey with this disease has blessed me with the knowledge to help guide and advocate for her through her medical journey. I am so grateful to have an opportunity to pay it forward to a fellow warrior. When I started my own battle, a wise friend said to me “the people around you will help lift you up” and that’s what we will keep doing for Genesis and we will continue to pay it forward after we win. My favorite quote “Oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” Shine bright Genesis!
Xx Marnie
