I’m Never Going Back to the Office
Well, that’s what I said up until recently when James Gorman publicly asked us to go back in to the office… All of my friends kept sending me links to articles and instagram posts with his face and viral quotes.
I remember telling my former boss, who is now living his best retired life, that I was never going back into the office and that they’d have to fire me before I went back. He always knew that was BS and he was right (as usual). I had really gotten so comfortable and used to working from home, like most people, that the thought of going back into the office was scary for so many reasons. First of all, because my boss was no longer there and not only was he my boss but he was one of my closest friends and somehow we worked together even more closely during covid despite literally never seeing each other, like not even on zooms.
I’ve never been a fan of crowds and the Subway is just not my jam. It is the quickest and cheapest way to get across town but I absolutely hate it. I hate being so close to other people, I hate people falling asleep and leaning on me, I hate being stuck in between stations, underground with no signal. I hate it! I hated it even before the pandemic and now with masks in the summer it is nothing short of miserable. My friend always describes events as being “too people-y” and I hate when places are too people-y. Always have, always will.
The office is not too people-y yet and that’s part of the reason I decided to go in after Mr. Gorman’s nudge. I have really bad anxiety and I thought that it would be better to be one of the first in the office rather than waiting til it’s mandatory to go in and have to go in with a bunch of people all at once. To make matters worse, my group moved floors in the middle of the pandemic so I was coming in to a brand new floor with new people and that kind of situation really sends me over the edge. Of course when I finally went in, literally everything was fine.
Now, I’m thinking about going back to the office more days. Who am I? I find that it’s a bit tough for me to do one day at home, two in the office, then two at home. I used to go in Monday-Thursday and work from home on Fridays and honestly I kind of miss that. I still spend a ton of time on Zoom but my new boss and some of my new peers come in and that’s been really helpful with the transition into the new role. I used to think it was such bullshit that meetings had to be in person and that they were more productive in person but they really are. The way we collaborate when we are in the same room together is unmatched to how we collaborate on zoom or other conference calls — which I was not expecting at all. I also feel like it’s so much easier to disagree or push back on certain points when you’re meeting in person and those social cues can be picked up which can often be lost on video calls.
Overall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. Right as I started going back into the office in June, I got an email to do an interview with my online therapy provider, Brightside. They wanted to interview people that were willing to talk about their anxiety around going back into the office. I was really nervous about the interview because it’s pretty hard to talk about this topic without getting into vaccines and things like that.
At the end of the day, we’re not going to agree on everything but we do need to agree to treat others with respect, even if they don’t agree with our beliefs. This is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life and particularly during the pandemic. Things that I believed were common sense were not so common to others after all. It showed me that we are products of our environments and it’s hard to see things from other people’s perspectives if we haven’t experienced different situations. If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it’s to listen. When people talk, listen to understand and not react. Even if you think that what they’re saying is absolutely insane, just listen. You don’t always have to be right or prove people wrong and you certainly don’t have to disrespect someone to prove a point. People are at different points in their lives and try to make the best choices they can for their situations.
Anyway, if anyone is struggling with bringing themselves to go back to the office or even doing things you did before the pandemic, I would say that you should start by dipping your toe in the water. For me, that looked like only going to my tennis club and my home for over a year — literally. Then, I started going out to restaurants and eating outdoors near my apartment. Then, indoor dining. Then finally commuting into the office. With every step I took, I felt more and more comfortable. In general, I used to be an all-or-nothing kind of gal, and I still am for the most part, but trying to break things up into more manageable pieces. It’s not my favorite way to do things but I’ve realized that doing things a certain way just because they’ve always been done that way is not a good enough reason to keep doing them that way.
Sending you good vibes as we start the week ahead. Be kind, be respectful & never stop learning.
