New Job Check In: OOTDs & STDs
I can't stop laughing at how invested you all are in the outfit of the day posts on my Instagram. I wanted to give you guys some context as to why I started posting them in the first place.
In my previous job, I had a mentor who told me that they wanted to help me grow and move up in my career. One of the things they said I was lacking was what they called executive presence. When they told me that, I was taken aback because I'm not really afraid of executives. Do I think they are badasses? Absolutely, but at the end of the day, they are just people too, and my most successful executive relationships have been when I connect with them as regular people. In fact, I had built my entire brand and success around it, and I think that's one of the main reasons why I got promoted to VP. However, when I moved to my new role, I felt very lost and insecure.
One of our senior leaders always talked about how competence inspires confidence, and that always resonated with me because for a long time, I didn't have any confidence because I didn't fully understand what I was supposed to be doing. It was hard for me to feel like my role was needed, and clearly, by the end of it, they thought that too. Anyway, coming into my new role, I wanted to show up with confidence. This was my time to wipe the slate clean and reintroduce myself however I wanted. I was really excited because no one had any real perceptions of me. While I am proud of the work I did in my career at my previous company, I had a lot of baggage there. So with this new role, I wanted to make sure that from day one I set the tone for how I wanted my new colleagues to perceive me.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still a child, but being able to elevate my presence through my appearance and inspire others to have confidence in me to lead and do what I was hired to do was really important for me. I went shopping with my mom and some friends before I started and bought all these corporate clothes. I've actually always liked to dress up, but my former roles didn't require it, and the last one, in fact, discouraged it. There's something so nice about wearing jeans and sneakers to the office, but I've gotten so used to dressing up now, and I feel so empowered by my outfit, hahaha. That sounds so silly, but it's true. Look good, feel good.
My mom was more excited about what I was gonna wear on my first day than anything else. I had bought a beautiful blazer from Polo Ralph Lauren with her, and she thought I would pick that one, but I wanted the first day to be safe and classic. I couldn't believe it when I was in the office, but I had made it. I wasn't unemployed anymore, and I was so excited to have clear objectives and a routine. I went to the bathroom and saw a perfectly placed full-length mirror, and I knew I had to snap a pic. It was originally for my mom, but since I live alone in New York, social media is the easiest way to connect with my friends and family across the globe without even talking.
I threw it up on my story, and everyone started responding. Everyone was so happy for me because I was starting the job, but they also loved the outfit. And just like that, the outfit pics began. People started texting and direct messaging me about the outfits. Some people loved them, and others hated them. Some people even had the audacity to tell me how to make them better, but most of them I hadn't talked to in years, and most of them need to look in the mirror before they give unsolicited outfit advice, LMAO. The truth is that I don't really care what people say about the outfits or what they want me to wear. I know that when you post, you sort of open the doors for people to opine, but I'm gonna wear whatever I want, and I've really enjoyed connecting with friends on this. The most fun is finding outfits that split the vote. If I get like 90%+ positives, I feel like it's too safe, and that's just boring, and I try to push the envelope a little more the next time.
The most challenging part about this is that eventually I'm going to run out of outfits, which by looking at my closet you may think that that day is very far away. The other thing is that I want new clothes all the time, but if I buy statement pieces and build outfits around them, it's kind of hard to rewear them. I remembered that one of my ultra-successful badass friends had mentioned she uses a subscription service, and I asked her to refer me. Rent the Runway is my latest obsession because you sign up for a membership, and you can get pieces sent to you each month. I signed up for the smallest and cheapest membership because #frugalqueen, but I wanted to see how the clothes fit and if I felt like using the service was sustainable. So far, so good! I got my first shipment, and I ordered all tops because I have so many trousers and skirts that I thought I could get the most out of getting blazers, blouses, and dresses.
Anyway, the timing could not be better to start this service because this week, my second week on the job, my boss set up some time for me to meet her skip-level manager. Like, what? I mean, like I said earlier, I treat executives like people, but that’s not to say that it doesn’t make me nervous. I fully understand how senior they are, and I genuinely look up to them. Also, because I’m new in this role, I don’t know anything about anything, so naturally, I was worried we would run out of things to talk about. I wish that we had run out of things to talk about. Shit. Like, I swear I need a shock collar sometimes. Sit down and buckle up because you’re not ready for what came out of my mouth in this meeting…
This exec is not based out of New York, so the reason for the meeting was that he was in town for the week. My boss thought it would be good for me to meet him, and I don’t disagree, I just wish it would have been a few weeks later! Anyway, I wasn’t sure if she was going to go with me or stay in the room with me, but I was relieved that she was accompanying me. We go in the room, and like any good exec, he was running late from the previous meeting. He gave me a firm handshake, and it made me wonder when the last time I had shaken someone’s hand. My boss and I sit down across from him, and my boss starts talking about me and why they had the role open to begin with. I honestly blacked most of this meeting out, but I remember that he was very nice and down-to-earth. As the conversation progressed, I started getting more and more comfortable, maybe too comfortable because we started talking about my travels during my unemployment era. I told him that I’m obsessed with tennis and that I went to Australia to watch tennis exclusively. He asked if I did anything else, and I told him that people think I’m crazy. They’re not wrong, tbh. I shared that there really wasn’t anything else that I wanted to do in Australia anyways, other than fulfill my lifelong dream of holding a koala. I didn’t stop there. I told him that while that was on my bucket list, the Australian government in Melbourne doesn’t allow you to hold them, though I saw some players holding them when the tournament brought them onsite to the player lounge! Before he could even ask anything, I continued to share information.
“Apparently, koalas all have STDs. Chlamydia.”
“Really?”
silence
“But don’t worry because I didn’t get to hold any. So, I — I don’t have Chlamydia”
Like… I’m sorry, what? Let’s just get one thing straight, never ever bring up Chlamydia or any type of sexually transmitted diseases when speaking to your managers, much less your manager’s skip-level manager. Maybe go as far as never bringing up STDs in the office. I had word vomit. Koala Word Vomit. I still can’t believe those words left my mouth, and I can’t even believe I still have a job. They are probably severely questioning their hiring decision right about now, but I guess that just means I have to prove my worth so that it outweighs the crazy talk and psychotic behavior. You know, the silence wasn’t even that long, but it felt eternal. It took me back to that T. Swift song that says “I’ve never heard silence quite this loud,” except my silence wasn’t loud because I filled it with Chlamydia chatter.
All jokes aside, we are nearing the end of week two at the new job, and it’s so similar to my previous company, but at the same time different. It’s like when I went away for college, and my mom bought a new place and moved before I got back for the first break around Labor Day. I came into this strange new home, and I didn’t know where the light switches were! I knew it was home, but it didn’t feel like home in that moment. I know that even though I’m still trying to get the hang of it, I feel so grateful to have a job. Unemployment really did a number on my mental health, but I am grateful for the challenge. I’ve met so many people in the first two weeks and heard so many freaking acronyms. The worst part is that they are so similar to the ones at my old job, so it’s kind of hard to change the definitions in my mind. It’s okay though, I love a good challenge, and even though I am fried when I get home every day, I feel so fueled and energized. Well, maybe not today because I went to Pilates this morning, and despite the Celsius, I just could not stay awake.
There are so many benefits to having a job, and this job, in particular, has been a game-changer for me. Some of my favorites include, first and foremost, a paycheck. No, but seriously, the commute is really great. I take the Long Island Railroad, and if I time it right, I can be in my office in 30 minutes after leaving home. I’ve even run into some of my friends who live in the neighborhood on the platform.
Second, I finally got my gym membership back at my corporate rate, which is a huge win because Equinox is expensive! How do you even justify it? For me, it’s more than just the gym. It’s my training sessions with my personal trainer. It’s my home away from home. It’s a place where I feel so strong and powerful. It has completely transformed my life, and I can’t really put a price tag on that. Well, I mean, I definitely can, but that’s how I justify it. You can also join the gym so I can get a referral bonus lmao.
The best benefit, though, has been finding strength and confidence in myself despite going through something I thought was unimaginable. Thanks for being on this journey with me and for your support through the ups, the downs, and the good and the bad (outfits).
xx Marn
