I Fell In Love on the Subway
I don’t really talk much about dating and it’s not because I’m super private about it it’s just that my dating life is virtually non-existent. I don’t need you to feel bad for me, because it’s non-existent entirely by design. I am just so uninterested in meeting someone new and spending time explaining why I am the way I am or going through bullshit small talk about what my favorite color is. Maybe I’ve seen too many Disney movies and I think that it’s just gonna happen when it’s meant to happen. Let’s be serious, I haven’t had the best track record in choosing men before so it’s best I leave it up to fate, right?
Well, it seemed like fate was ready because the other day I had to take the subway home instead of my regular commute on the Long Island Railroad (LIRR). Sorry friends but I have to spell it out for the non-New Yorkers. Anyway, if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I hate taking the subway. Even the best experiences on the subway are nothing short of tragic and that is because there are so many factors involved. There is always at least one person acting a fool. And I don’t mean like a homeless person. I mean like a regular average Joe (or Jane). Someone is always being loud or inconsiderate and just downright obnoxious. Then you have the homeless people, who god bless them, smell not so great. I have horrible nausea whenever I get on any moving vehicle and the subway is no different. It’s enclosed and smelly in general much less with body odor from all passengers. Then you have the artists hustling to make a buck or two. I always seem to pick the exact car that they pick and then I’m worried I’m gonna get kicked in the head by their subway acrobatics. Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.
I don’t even remember why I had to take the subway that day but alas, there I was. I was waiting on the extremely crowded platform, carrying my big ass gym bag, and two other bags while scrolling on my phone with my free hand. I wasn’t struggling but I wasn’t like comfortable, you know? Anyway, I get so paranoid on the edge of the platform because one wrong move and you’re on the track with the rats! I was standing there minding my own business when all of a sudden I saw someone acting a fool near me. When they walk past me they knick one of my many bags and I look up to see if anyone had seen that or if to see what the fuck was going on. I locked eyes with this tall, beautiful man.
Naturally, I broke eye contact immediately. I can’t remember the last time I was attracted to someone much less someone this attractive. Also, I always end up with shorter people so this was a huge win already. Anyway, I looked back up and he was shaking his head at the fool who knocked into my stuff. We sort of giggled and that was it. I went back to my favorite thing — scrolling on TikTok, obviously.
The train finally arrived and I went got on from different doors but it was still the same car. I didn’t even realize until the doors closed and I was sandwiched in between what seemed like a lot of people. The subway was busy but it was nowhere near sardine level. I noticed this man had snagged a prime seat at the end of the row by the door. He was only a couple of people away from me but I didn’t think anything else about it but all of a sudden I felt a tap on my arm. It was him. He looked up at me and asked me if I wanted to sit down. Swoooooon.
I blushed but because I had a fresh tan Miami, I don’t think he noticed. I can’t imagine the older women standing between him and I loved the fact that he didn’t offer it to them. LOLLL. I declined, not because I was being polite or shy but because there were too many people between us that it would have been much more of a hassle to take the seat than to just stand there.
He sat back in his seat and I began to regret my decision. I’m never willing to put myself out there when it comes to these kinds of things. Travel to a different country where I don’t speak the language? No problem. Speak to a gorgeous man clearly wanting to talk to me? Pass. I don’t know. I just have no interest. Like, do I want to be alone for the rest of my life? No. But so what if I am? I’ll freeze my eggs and have my own kid if that’s what I want and decide later on. But I’m so at peace with just working on myself. I’m not in a rush. I’ve been through too many failed relationships to want to rush into something with literally anyone. Anyway, back to this man. I was fully regretting my choice to not accept the seat, and obviously open up the conversation. That was until what I witnessed next…
My infatuation went as quickly as it came. You will not believe what this man whipped out. No, NO! Not that! Worse — he pulled out a pair of fingernail clippers. On a packed subway. And started clipping his nails. ON A PACKED SUBWAY. When I tell you I was truly mortified, I’m not exaggerating. Tell me if I’m wrong but like that’s disgusting right? I think that fingernail clipping should be reserved for two places: 1) your home or 2) the nail salon. That’s it!
I knew it was too good to be true. Everyone has to have a fatal flaw but this was too much to overlook. Later when I was recapping the story to my friend I was gaslighting myself and said “Well, at least he was cutting his nails at all” but is the bar really that low? The answer is no.
And that’s how my whirlwind romance began and ended in the span of 4 train stops. But all jokes aside, this interaction made me laugh. I actually forgot about it until I was having dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while and she had asked me about my dating life. It was so insignificant to my day and life but I love that. I love not having to worry about another human’s feelings. I love not having to make plans around another person and I love just doing whatever the heck I want to do. I think I’ll feel differently in the future, obviously, and this type of thinking is problematic for future Marnie, but Marnie right now doesn’t care at all. Before, I would always tell myself that I would think about dating when I lost enough weight or when I had a better job, or when I felt like I had my life together. But the truth is, it’s never been about those things. I am having so much fun just enjoying taking care of myself and trying to get my life together that I can’t even fathom dating someone. Should that ever change, you all will be the first to know.
xx marn
